THE Anniversary Gift!

My husband is always great about our anniversary, he never forgets and always gets me more than 1 gift.  I usually get a series of gifts, a couple of items I need and then something just for me.  He never really asks for anything in particular and well, he gets his own gadgets and what not so to buy for him is not always easy.  HOWEVER, for the first time ever, for our 12th he actually asked me for something.  But let me give you a quick history on the item.

These are not the actual jeans

A few years ago we  were walking through the mall and I looked in to a store and there was this adorable pair of jeans on a mannequin that was just too cute. Let me try to describe them, they had large contrast stitching, gem embellishments on the button and back pockets and such a cute design to boot. But also due to their cut they hugged the curves of that mannequin quite well!  I had gone into that store SEVERAL times to look at them. They NEVER went on sale and because they were in junior sizes they started at 0 and went to a 13/14 which we all know is a 12 in the land of real woman. Either way, I could not fit them.  I was wearing approx. a 16-18 size jeans at the time and well, I couldn't see spending $50 for a pair of jeans I couldn't wear.

One day on one of our strolling trips to the mall we again peers into the window of the store and they jeans were still on display, I went inside and tried on the largest pair.......barely to my hips.  The sweet husband that I have looks at me and said, "You'll get into them" and he bought them.  So I proudly brought them home and hung them in the closet.  That is where they hung for quite some time.  In my ups & downs in trying to loose I did  get them on at one point, I could not zip them but I barely got them over my hips.  Regardless, they have never been worn out, still have the tags attached and are just waiting for me.

So those are the Jeans and the story behind them. Now how do they connect to THE Anniversary gift?  Well near the end of 2012 hubby mentioned what he wanted for his anniversary present, all he wanted to see me IN those jeans.  That's all he wanted.  Well time kept ticking away and it got closer and closer to our 13yr and there was no way it was going to happen.  I felt sooo bad, I felt like I really let him down. The only time he actually ever asked for something and I wasn't able to give it to him.  The guilt that I have for not being able to deliver that is overwhelming, but I keep it in, I say that I wish I had been able to do it but inside I am sooooo ashamed.

Now our anniversary is May 13, during this time I am still waiting to hear from Extreme Weight Loss and also over the last month I had been doing some research on a popular diet plan that I thought I would try.  I won't give the name as I am not trying to endorse any particular plan but it does offer pre-packaged meals and I felt with my emotional issues of binging & compulsive eating, if I didn't have to worry about what to cook, all I have to do is pick and choose, it would take that element out of my struggle so I could focus on the mental aspect.  I don't know where to begin to work on the emotional elements behind my over eating but I know I have to figure it out.  I NEED help with this part but I don't have it or really know where to go to figure it out.  I just know I have to embrace it and see what happens.

My husband and I had plans for a stay-cation for our anniversary weekend.  Our anniversary day fell on a Monday and my plans were to start my new healthy quest the VERY next day, May 14.
That is just what I did, Tuesday May 14 I started my year long quest to give my husband the ONLY Anniversary Gift he ever asked for and along the way, I plan to figure out how I got this way and learn how to correct the behavior.  So my next post will be all the details of my starting weight, some before pictures and and an update as to where I am so far.