As of today.....

Hey everyone, my plan was to get you caught up to date for weeks 3 & 4 regarding my meal plan and weight loss but I want to take a brief moment to say something back. 

I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH!

YOUR words have touched me.

Over the last 2 days I have received several emails from some of you saying that my posts touched you, that you were brought to tears, that you were dealing with some of the same things that I have been struggling with and now you know you are not alone.  I have been hiding my binge eating & compulsive overeating for some time and I am finally just saying no more.  I am putting it all out there and over the coming months I plan to open up and get it all out.  I don't know how to fix it but what I do know is if I don't admit it & face it head on and then and only then will WE be able to BEAT these awful habit and create new ones along the way.

PLEASE take this journey with me and let's learn how to conquer what haunts us.

NOW, as I dry my tears I want to just fill you in on my last 2 weeks and my work out today.

Week 2 was tough, even though I had some slip ups (they would have been a LOT worse but I didn't have the foods in the house) I was able to continue on.  We 3 was not very eventful but I had a few times where I ate a few more slices of light bread, one day I had an extra desert.  One night I ate some of the rice the family was eating. Now I know these things don't seem like much but it is only because the food wasn't in the house.  So if that is one of my tips to take away it's: DON'T HAVE THE TRIGGER FOODS IN THE HOUSE!

That is really what saved me the last couple of weeks cause I have had some moments when I just looked and didn't see something to splurge on. Also, I try to make sure I am not alone.

I love to be alone to eat.  I DON'T LIKE to eat in front of others, ESPECIALLY my family. So making sure I have someone around me to keep me accountable has also helped.

I know these things sound sort of juvenile but I'm sorry, this is what I have to deal with. I have to admit these things in order to face them and fix them. Don't you agree?

So after all these trials and bumps, at the ends of weeks 3 & 4, I have lost a total of 17.8 lbs.

My dinner tonight,
Ravioli w/ meat sauce & broccoli

In the 4 weeks of being on NutriSystem I was able to just focus on my emotions & triggers and NS allowed me to not have to think too much about what to make for my meals, just choose what I was in the mood for.  Waiting a month before I added in the exercise I feel was a smart move because it allowed me to get the hang of the eating plan so going forward I can continue to focus on my emotions which (as I saw in my first workout) will start to surface.

my machine just to prove I was there

Now here is something else I did, I decided that after a great first workout with my trainer, I would take this little boost of energy and I went to the gym tonight. But only for a little cardio.  I know that when you have had a really strenuous workout where strength training is involved you WILL be sore & tight the next day.  So I felt like if I went for a little bit of cardio it would keep me loose and my muscles moving so they wouldn't hurt AS MUCH as they would if I just sat and rested. Well I went and I was there for about 45 min, I burned over 300 calories on the elliptical & went for about 10 min. on the treadmill.  My heart rate was up and I felt good.


I am glad that I went and now I can look forward to work out #2 with my trainer Jumaane.  This has already been a stronger experience than I could have imagined. I see a movement starting & I hope that with each post I can see myself heal and I hope that we can figure it out together. I am totally beat, worn out and tired.  It's time for a shower & B-E-D, see you all late because I am going to crash, good night!